Stress Related Illness: When Did It Become The American Way?

Did You Know?

1) Seven of every ten people who die each year had been living with a chronic illness

2) One of every two of us is now living with a chronic illness

3) For three of every four of those with a chronic illness stress may be a contributing factor (American Medical Association)

4) When we feel the effects of emotional and mental stress, our health is compromised by a primitive fight or flight response that produces stress hormones even when we are not really in immediate danger.

5) A study published in "Circulation: Journal of the American Heart Association'' showed that mental stress can decrease blood flow to the heart. This study regarding stress related illness likened stress with bad cholesterol and smoking as risk factors for coronary heart disease patients

I don’t know about you but I find the above statistics to be rather alarming! And if it’s common knowledge that stress is a big factor in more than 75% of all illness diagnosed today what are we doing as a nation to combat stress?

Are we all in denial? If you really trusted that your life, health and well-being was at stake would that be enough for you to turn the tables on stress and say “Enough is enough! I’m going to make some conscious choices here that dismantle the behaviors, thoughts, habits and actions which keep stress in place and leave the door wide open for illness to come on into my life?”

I often wonder why we aren’t seeing Stress Management 101 classes offered to our youth in high school so as to better prepare them for living healthy and long lives. Where was that class when I was in school? And why is my doctor more likely to write me a script for Xanax than recommend I attend a meditation seminar or creative visualization classes when I tell her I’m suffering from anxiety? But most of all, when did we decide as a nation that it was acceptable, “normal,” and even honorable to be living high stress lives?

One of the biggest reasons people give me when I ask them why they give so little focus to mastering their stress is that they don’t have the time. They don’t have the time to get a massage, work with a coach, meditate, practice creative visualization or deep breathing exercises. They don’t have time to practice new and healthy habits, take a break, or get 8 hours of sleep nightly.

Time: The age old excuse for everything. When are we going to stop using that one? Time is never really the issue—priority is the issue—commitment is the issue. Time can be one hell of a scapegoat for those things we say we most want to do but never get around to doing.

The truth is we don’t have time to put other things ahead of our stress management. The data on the health risk associated with that action are much too threatening. Shifting your commitment towards making time for learning how to live well and minimize stress in your life requires a willingness to debunk some socially acceptable beliefs that keep stress and illness in play.

Repeat after me—Being stressed out is NOT normal over long periods of time. Your body was not built to maintain high stress levels throughout the day. It doesn’t have the capacity or the willingness to remain in the Fight or Flight response for too long before it starts breaking down.

Decide right now you must stop walking through life high on adrenaline and challenged by daily and intensive stress that you know is ruling your life. It’s absolutely, inarguably unacceptable. Decide right now you are not willing to become another victim of stress. Your body, mind, emotions, and spirit will thank you for it.

Can One Career Serve You For A Lifetime?

A recent post on Marci Alboher’s New York Times Blog paralleled the story line of the Broadway Musical A Chorus Line to the lengths many of us choose to go in order to build a career centered on passion. Her post is worth a read if for no other reason than to salute her genius in finding a way to deduct theater tickets to one of the best Broadway shows ever!

Marci poses some questions regarding the common themes in A Chorus Line such as:

Should you sell out or toil away in obscurity doing what you love?

What happens once you reach the place in your career you’ve always aspired to?

Or what happens if you hit midlife or later and still haven’t arrived at the point you hoped to be?

All of these questions are bound to ignite some stressful thoughts and emotions as we pose them to ourselves from time to time. But it was her final question that really got me to thinking:

Whether artists or not, shouldn’t we all give thought to building careers that will serve us for a lifetime, not merely for a season?

How common and yet stilting a belief that so many of us have begrudgingly held onto from early adult hood—believing that we should build a career which serves us a life time. Should we really? Says who?

The nature of life births desire after desire after desire. What served me years ago isn’t necessarily going to continue to fulfill me in the same way today. With every achievement comes a new desire. I want more, I want different, I want the excitement, growth and adventure that doesn’t always come with doing the same thing over and over again. Are we setting ourselves up for disappointment in believing that we can live one dream, (one career) that will serve us a lifetime?

I’ve known many people who have stayed in careers that didn’t serve them any longer simply because of the weight of that unbearable belief—“We should find careers that serve us a lifetime.” The stress that comes with believing we’ve somehow missed the mark or failed ourselves when our passion for a particular career has fizzled out or when circumstances beyond our control have suddenly closed the door to us and our current career can be overwhelming. But what if you didn’t really fail? What if you simply were ready to grow, explore, or evolve? Since when did growing and evolving equate to failure?

Falling prey to the belief that we should build careers that serve us a lifetime has the power to keep many of us from living beyond our first dream, cultivating new talents we never knew we were capable of, employing strengths that we didn’t know existed within us, falling in love with adventure itself, and/or simply agreeing to experience the expansiveness of who we are.

I’ve worked with many clients who’ve stumbled into a period of their life where they can’t quite figure out why their career doesn’t bring them the fulfillment it once did. Instead of dwelling on the thought “I should still be happy with where I am today,” Why not honor the truth and consider this an opportunity to live a new desire that wants to be born? Instead of asking, “Why am I not still happy?” How about asking, “What will make me happy?” Give yourself permission to travel another road, expand, risk, and evolve into something or someone you never knew you could become.

If you are one of those people who has managed to build a career that continues to serve you throughout your lifetime—how magnificent for you! And if you are someone who enjoys the bursts of passion that come with “seasonal careers” and find yourself fulfilling more than one career venture—how magnificent for you too! When it comes down to it—seasonal or life long—aren’t the ones who win at life the ones who choose to live without regret?

What I know to be true for myself is this: I want a career—Seasonal or lifelong—that makes me thrilled to be alive. I want my career life to burst with a similar passion as that which Cassie, (from A Chorus Line) expresses when she sings at the top of her lungs…

All I ever needed
Was the music
And the mirror
And the chance
To dance
For you!

Stress And Illness: Healing Your Relationship To Illness

A large part of learning to play a bigger role in your health and well-being is about finding the gifts in what we might usually perceive as God-awful life circumstances. To be diagnosed with a chronic or life threatening illness—God awful! To be let go from a high power + high paid career, also God-awful! To have a long term marriage you committed your heart, soul, and everything to just to have it end with an adulteress act—again, God-awful!

Part of the work I do with my coaching clients at Live Beyond Stress and Illness involves supporting people in learning to befriend their illness—not an easy task, I agree. I’m not talking about encouraging others to bow down to their illness or give up on their health and desire to create a sense of well-being. I’m talking about learning to shift the negative, health-stealing, and resistant relationship we tend to have with an illness into one that invites a greater opportunity for peace and healing. Befriending an illness releases one from falling prey to stressful thoughts and emotions that can keep illness in place.

I’ve spoken before about the stress and illness cycle. When stress remains in place for extended periods of time it can manifest in the physical body as illness. And when illness enters one’s life—more stress tends to be mounted upon us. The new stress that comes with an illness can hold illness in place and even perpetuate more and more physical symptoms, which of course will typically perpetuate more stress. Once the stress and illness cycle is in place it becomes increasingly difficult to manage either the stress or the illness.

Finding peace with your illness requires a commitment to shift your focus towards one that empowers you. It is important for anyone challenged by illness to remember that any thought we generate that isn’t a match for inner peace is most probably a stress-producing thought; one that creates a stressful emotion which in return has the potential to create disharmony is the physical body. We cannot afford to entertain stress-producing thoughts for too long if we want to break the stress and illness cycle.

Generating a peaceful relationship with your illness will surely feel like an impossible quest in the beginning. But don’t let that deter you from reaping the benefits that can come by setting course on this journey. I have witnessed again and again the serenity- and in many cases, the so called miraculous mental, emotional and physical healings that have come from mastering the art of befriending an illness.

I’ve included a video clip link here of one of my greatest hero’s Byron Katie in hopes of better bringing to light the power of shifting our relationship to illness. Byron Katie is truly one of the leading champions in supporting others in living beyond stress and illness, and you can trust I will speak of her work from time to time as it is so pertinent to my own message. Follow this link and I trust you will be inspired to tears as you witness one man’s journey towards befriending his own illness.

Chanting: A Divine Therapy to Ward Off the Stress and Illness Blues

In an earlier post I wrote about the health benefits of singing. I spoke of the physical benefits singing can have on the body such as the way it enhances relaxation, exercises and keeps your heart healthy, clears respiratory tubes and sinuses, stimulates endorphins, and increases oxygenation in the blood stream. Naturally, I am still a big fan of singing as an avenue to decreasing stress and supporting a healthy body.

Chanting offers many of the same health benefits. Both singing and chanting support the health of the Vegas nerve which has been touted the most important nerve in the human body. The Vegas nerve runs through the neck and services many major organs in the body such as the heart, intestines, intestinal track, back muscles, and also the lungs. Imagine stimulating the health of that very important nerve and the domino effect it could have on so many of your major organs simply by engaging in song or through chant.

I’ve often heard that Chanting is truly the first step in preparing your body for meditation. Chanting focuses on an easy to remember phrase and melody and repeats itself over and over. If you’ve ever listened to Chant you may have noticed the hypnotic state of bliss it can bring about. The repetition sets the stage for quieting the mind and when the mind is less active the body calms as well. Chanting provides a limited amount of mind activity vs. singing which can require the mind to remember quite a few lyrics in order to complete a song.

Chanting, much like many Deep Relaxation Breathing Techniques allows the mind to focus on a particular thought which can bring about a sense of being centered and also reduce stress. According to the French Doctor Alfred A. Tomatis, (who has pioneered research in the neurophysiologic effects of Chant on the minds and bodies of listeners) there are two kinds of sound: Discharge Sounds and Charged Sounds. Discharge sounds are those which make the listener feel fatigued or drained. And charged sounds are those which give the listener energy, life and health. Dr. Tomatis believes that Chant may be the most potent sound to stimulate strength and vitality within us all. I have to say, I'm becoming a believer myself!

In my own experience of listening to chant I can tell you that I encounter an undeniable sense of well-being, purpose, focus, and calm. Whether I am listening to chant in the background while practicing my daily deep breathing exercises or have some playing while writing at my computer, I can count on the melody and repetitive phrases to set a stage for peace within myself and the environment around me.

Whether you choose to learn how to chant or decide you best enjoy listening on the sidelines, I invite you to bring this Divine therapy into your daily life as I trust it will become yet another addition to your creative resources for living beyond stress and illness. Feel free to give a listen here to an online radio station I found that will fill your hours with nothing but Gregorian Chant

Let Your Divine Therapy Begin!

Stress And Illness: Breaking The Emotional Cycle

Our emotions are always letting us know to what degree stress is running our life. And when stress is running our life for extended periods of time our chances of experiencing the physical manifestations of that stress become greater.

If we learn to manage our emotions; learn to stay in tune with what we are feeling and commit to reaching for “feel good” emotions when stressful emotions are present, we can begin to shift the cycle of stress before stress and illness becomes a partnership we wished we had never unwittingly encouraged.

Ultimately, all emotions will land within one of two categories: Stress Based Emotions and Stress Less Emotions.

Stress Based Emotions include feeling: frustrated, ashamed, guilty, apathetic, angry, disappointed, sad, anxious, depressed, impatient, resistant, indifferent, abandoned, betrayed, rejected, confused, discouraged, critical, embarrassed, inferior, lonely, skeptical, submissive, jealous, hurt, insecure, hostile, inadequate, overwhelmed, and insignificant.

Stress Less Emotions include feeling: serene, hopeful, trusting, patient, accepting, loving, secure, significant, calm, peaceful, connected, compassionate, joyful, loved, merciful, curious, forgiving, allowing, optimistic, courageous, understanding, adequate, blissful, supported, energized, inspired, appreciative, open, and centered.

If you want to stop the cycle of stress and illness, your objective will be to consciously reach more and more for the Stress less emotions throughout your day. A first step in doing so involves becoming more aware of your daily emotions. Most of us are not aware of the emotions that fill our days until one emotion screams loudly and relentlessly enough for us to pay attention to it.

Our society tends to give more attention and approval to thought vs. emotion. We are well versed in sweeping stress based emotions under the carpet as best we can so we can get back to our thoughts and our day.

I’m inviting you to put an end to the “sweeping of emotions” so you can learn how to transform them. Whatever stress based emotions you attempt to sweep under the carpet are still going to remain. It might help you to remind yourself that the only true negative emotions are the ones we suppress or repress, aka sweep under the carpet!

Sweeping stress based emotions under the carpet is like saying in the midst of a house fire, “I’ll call the fire department tomorrow.” But in the meantime your house will be burning down much like your emotions will be causing physical havoc in your body when you deny them the opportunity to be addressed and transformed.

Give yourself permission to transform your stress based emotions into stress less emotions and you’ll be playing a whole new ball game that breaks the cycle of stress and illness.

Tips For Transforming Stress Based Emotions Into Stress Less Emotions:

1) When you recognize yourself experiencing a stress based emotion put a name to it. What specifically are you feeling?

2) Ask yourself, “What stress less emotion would I like to transform this feeling into? And then name that feeling as well.

3) Next, ask yourself, “What resources do I have or opportunities can I create in allowing myself to experience this stress less emotion I wish to experience?


A Stress Less Example: If you got into your car this morning only to find out that it didn’t start, and you were going to be late for your first client, you might feel the stress that comes with frustration. When you ask yourself what emotion you would like to transform your frustration into you say Peace.

From there you might use your inner resources such as taking a deep breath to begin your path towards peace. Maybe you would call a buddy on your cell phone and ask for a lift to work. Perhaps you would look for the Peace in the situation—how wonderful it is that your car broke down right in your own driveway instead of out on the highway. How blessed you are to have a cell phone so you can reschedule your client meeting. The point here is: if you want to transform frustration into peace you must choose peaceful thoughts, behaviors and actions that can lead you there.


Experience Less Stress: Your Invitation to Peace:

I invite you to check in with yourself every hour and ask, “What emotion am I experiencing in this moment?” Write it down. If the emotion you identify is a stress less emotion, feel free to go on with your day and applaud yourself for having created that emotion. Acknowledge yourself for entertaining a stress less emotion that steers clear of the stress and illness cycle.

If your emotion is stressful, take a moment and envision the stress less emotion you would like to transform it into. And then simply practice choosing thoughts, actions and behaviors that support the stress less emotion you choose. Give it a try! You might just become a master at transforming stressful emotions and enjoy the good health and sense of well-being that comes from it.

Can Being Resourceful Reduce Stress?

A year ago I attended an art therapy workshop. I’m no artist, to be clear. In fact, I grew up with a brother who could draw the most amazing pictures and to this day I envy his ability to work with all sorts of artistic mediums.

I attended the workshop mostly because I knew it would challenge me to be gentle with myself, loving with myself, and accepting of myself—three big feats when one is attempting something they already know they are not very good at.

One of the pieces our instructor invited us to draw was a picture of ourselves getting fruit from an apple tree. Sounds relatively simple, right? Well, in my haste I drew the tree and myself, as well as dozens of big juicy apples only to discover that in order for my arms to reach the fruit in this picture I would have to significantly extend the arms I already drew.

“That wouldn’t work,” I thought. “It will look unrealistic and I will look like Gumby!” So, instead, I drew a shoe, put it in mid air flying up to the apples as if I had thrown it there to knock the apples down from the tree. I also drew a number of fresh apples on the ground by my feet and placed many more in a basket to represent the ones I had already successfully captured. “Pretty resourceful,” I thought. And so did my instructor.

She examined my drawing and told us all about how the number of apples we drew represented the amount of abundance we believe is out there in the world. She pointed out that although I initially created a drawing where the fruit was out of my reach, (which would typically signify a belief that abundance was out of my reach) I demonstrated my ability to be resourceful in bringing abundance into my life. I liked that synopsis! But have to admit, I was still kicking myself for not having thought out my drawing better to have had normal length arms that could effortlessly reach for the fruit.

I took away a valuable reminder that day. I am resourceful. There’s more than one way to bring apples into my life and to criticize my approach is fruitless. I should celebrate my ability to recognize that there is always more than one way to reap abundance, more than one way to accomplish our goals, and more than one way to maneuver around situations in life that threaten us with stress.

I forget that sometimes, and especially when stress enters into my life. And yet, if I remembered how resourceful I CAN be, especially in times of stress inducing situations I probably wouldn’t cater to the seduction of stress. I’d simply remember myself, the apple tree, my shoe flying in mid air, my basket of already caught apples, and give thanks for the resourceful ideas and solutions that come to me day in and day out that I don’t always give much attention to.

I believe that managing stress is about being resourceful with our time, energy, bodies, thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, actions and connections. When we come to know how resourceful we truly are and can become-- stress will undoubtedly loosen its’ grip on all of us so that we might be free to grab onto our apples, (abundance) and take a juicy bite that nourishes our heart, body, soul, mind, and imagination.

Take a Mini-Vacation from Stress and Illness

At least three times a day I schedule mini-vacations for myself. I call them mini-vacations because each one lasts about 25 minutes. My mini-vacations, by definition, are time away from daily stressors. Daily stressors can come at us from all arenas of our life—work, family, communication, marriage, relationships, environment, illness, and simply an overactive mind moving at the speed of light.

In an article I read recently about the top happiest nations in the world, the United States ranked at 150 on that list. Pretty pathetic, I thought. And then I read further about the island nation of Vanuatu which ranked #1 in the world. “Wow,” I thought. “Where is Vanuatu and how do I get there?”

It was with that question I realized that I can and do frequently visit Vanuatu three times a day for 25 minute intervals. I’ve created my own Vanuatu by making the time for my mini-vacations—mini-vacations that I walk away from feeling as if I am a resident of the #1 happiest nation in the world—myself!

The peace, joy, inspiration, gratitude, balance, and calm I create within myself and project onto my outer world is much like having my own private Vanuatu. I visit Vanuatu anytime I make time for practicing meditation, deep relaxation exercises, deep breathing exercises, singing at the top of my lungs songs that soothe my soul and emotions, daily hikes with my dog, Shiatsu and Yoga stretching, imagery exercises and chanting.

I invite you all to book your own mini-vacations daily. And the next time you visit Vanuatu within yourself know that I am smiling with you.